the name game

it's come to my attention that an exponential proliferation of my first name has begun (unbelievably enough) in american society. i think this is bullshit. get your own name, bastards. while i do recognize people's right to name their kid whatever they want, i simply prefer to be the only "ahren" around, and i'm willing to resort to violence to make it happen (hell, they assassinated gandhi, the gloves are off!). i'd like to create a sphere of 2 degrees of separation around me in this regard. thus, i don't want any of my friends to be named "ahren," NOR do i want any my friends' friends using my name. so, if anyone knows another "ahren," please let me know, so i can offer that person the choice of changing their name or death. thank you, come again.

-ALW