Falafel: Nature's Chick-Pea Patty!

oof. falafel for lunch ≠ good idea.

last night was was the Autumnal Convening of Hardcovers: Book Club Extraordinaire. but rather than discuss the wine, the book and the bizarrely heated argument we had on dodging the draft, i'd like to discuss the Korean Bodega by the subway stop in Brooklyn Heights.

When i got out of the subway last night on Clark street in that other borough that's NOT manhattan, and after i looked around and thought "too cute!", i noticed the friendly korean bodega. and then i noticed the friendly sign in the korean bodega's door:

"We Sell Home Made Kimchi! KIMCHI: NATURE'S YOGURT!"

ok. friendly or not, there are just so many things wrong with that statement. let's start with the obvious.

1. Kimchi is so not nature's yogurt. Kimchi is spicy pickled cabbage. Yogurt is fermented milk product. there's no cross over on THAT venn diagram.

2. now. let's suspend our disbelief and pretend that on some level, kimchi and bacteria had something, anything, in common. ok. EVEN SO, kimchi STILL wouldn't be nature's yogurt. you can only say [something] is nature's [something] if the second thing is in fact NOT natural. like, for instance, RAISINS: NATURE'S CANDY. that works, see, because raisins are all natural, and candy is not! whee! it's easy! you can do it too! WATER: NATURE'S GATORADE! YERBA MATE: NATURE'S CRACK-COCAINE! see!? try it! the problem here is that yogurt is natural. so really, nature's yogurt IS yogurt. you could even argue that kimchi isn't nature's anything, i've never seen a pickled spicy cabbage growing in anyone's yard, have you bunny rabbit?

3. is yogurt even all that appealing? ever since beaner got a moldy yogurt (go nature!) in telluride, the thought really turns my stomach. you've got nature's candy, emphasis on candy? i'm in! nature's yogurt... pass. gimme the chemical stuff.

anyway. that's enough asian bashing for today. soon i'm going to have to go to a racial sensitivity class. BIGOTRY: NATURE'S MENTAL LAZINESS.

-LG